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Peter Steward's Web Pages |
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The Delight of Champers Ah the pure subtleties of
cricket. Picture the scene. It’s
a warm end of summer day, the field is green and lush. Around the boundary
people dressed in shorts and statutory floppy hats are enjoying a pint of
beer. In the distance a young
lad is working the electronic scoreboard for the age of technology has
come to our glorious game. On the field there’s
what could be termed a rearguard action taking place. For the batting side
have no need to win the match. They know the opposition have to bowl at
least eight of them out whilst they have to bat through 45 overs. That’s 270 balls to the
uninitiated. Time at the crease that’s what’s needed A visitor from a
non cricket playing country or the ubiquitous Martian could be forgiven
for wondering why solid unpretentious blocking can possibly be so exciting
that certain supporters of the team are pacing the boundary edges and
regularly going to what the English strangely call “pay a visit.” It’s not so much the
beer as the tension that makes us retreat regularly. If we go out of sight
of the pitch more balls will be bowled and we will be closer to that all
important winning defeat. It’s almost as if being away from the action
will actually make it go away. For today we don’t mind
losing, in fact we welcome it. As it turns out we lose by something in the
region of 149 runs but still the champagne comes out. For cricket is a
game of calculations. At the tea interval charts are mulled over and a
calculator is even detected. At the end of the game a
committee member is heard to nominate the match as “the best defeat in
the 150 year history of the club.” So just what is this all about? Well it’s all about the
complexities of cricket. The final league match of the season between the
top two teams. The team in second place has to win and win well. The team
at the top can afford to lose as long as they aren’t bowled out. The
intricacies of batting and bowling points come into play. The top team
lose the toss and that in itself is a massive blow. It means they now have
to be defensive rather than an attacking force. Around 7 p.m with the sun
already down and the light failing, all the mathematics comes down to a
simple calculation. The batting side needs one run for a second batting
point. The opposition need three more wickets. Step forward two heroes –
both normally attacking batsmen. There’s John, who two
days later is due to set-off backpacking round the world, and Simon, brave
and resolute despite having his nose broken the previous week when he
stepped into the ball. His only concession to this fact is the wearing of
a helmet (a case of locking the stable door after the horse has bolted). Nevertheless Simon stands
resolute scoring just five in 13 overs and John hits a princely zero in
eight overs – possibly two of the most important innings’ in the
club’s history. But no supporter from the
visiting team is complaining. A fielder on the boundary turns to these
supporters “enjoying the run chase” he sarcastically asks? “No, but we’re
enjoying winning the league,” comes the quick rejoinder. The record books will
show that the team suffered a 149 run defeat, they will also show that the
team finished as champions – with a superior average over an entire
season of 0.08.
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